The Bank of Wisdom.

I heard your voice last night between these sheets
A low whisper
Dancing in my bedside light
Comforting me
My hands on your spine
Sturdy but easily worn out

I latch onto every word you tell me
Hidden knowledge
Ancient magic and reason meshed creating
Fossils of the future
Even sharing secrets that only God should know
Sacred but quickly absorbed

I wandered into your vast universe
Alone in space
Stars and love suspended in the air
You guide me to peace
Exposing all the world’s we haven’t seen
Desperate but willing to help

I opened a book for the first time last night
I found dust
I found truth

I found myself
~J.Varina
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Cost of Living.

I saw a report on the news the other day that stated

“The average cost of raising a child born in 2013 is two hundred and forty-five thousand dollars, plus tax”

That covers them from days in diapers to donning graduation robes and degrees and don’t forget that awkward stage in middle school where everything they want they “totally need” or else they’d be losers forever , and somehow you manage to buy it because nobody wants their child lost forever…

I thought that it must be pretty expensive to be a parent until I remembered that I was black and somehow our humanity is not of equal price to other account holders.

Continue reading Cost of Living.

Tug of War.

I embraced that humanity we longed to eradicate,

even the dark ugly bits that fester up

in the untouched corners.

You’ve been patient and heard an old woman ramble for far too long,

but heed these words my dear,

humanity is not

in control of

us. Humanity is caught

in a tug-of-war between

life and death,

and often times death gets the upper hand.

And even though life know’s its going to lose

all the time,

it still hangs on tightly as if it has a chance at victory.

~J. Varina

Need.

When I write I need…something.

Something more than a keyboard, or pen and paper if I’m feeling old fashioned.

It’s more than an idea as well, its bigger than a plot with more twists than tongue twisted individuals trying to pronounce Shylaman,

All my cells have to be awake from hibernating, brushing the dust off like crisp snow.

As if my body must be in perfect sync with nature, mental meditation is….

*pause to light incense*

mental meditation is a key part of these phrases and prophecies

but I need to feel human

I need to feel two parts immortal and three parts vulnerable

Because thats what it means to be human.

Be wild, be covered in the aura of youth and mistakes

I need that edge over the animals, something more to make my life more than art.

It will sing out louder than the valkyries

My words will taste like black thunder and cinnamon

And you will know

because what resides in it, rings out in you too.

A universal feeling settling within our souls, the ability to feel.

It’s what gives these words life and imagination color.

I need to have the right amount of emotion in my system

just enough to spill out the cracks of my mind and land within these lines.

For without these feelings my words would sound like piano keys being played underwater

But thankfully I’ve been blessed with wisdom, the ability to pump my experience into action

and somehow convey the combination of love, hurt, joy and insanity all in one.

You deserve this, you deserve me to open my life to you.

So don’t fear if it seems like I don’t write that often, its probably because I’m still waiting for my passion to boil my thoughts.

A writer’s block is more like a catalyst for my imagination.

It’s life, its why I write.

~J. Varina

Strike Canvas.

Your eyes remind me of snowflakes

Soft and unique 

Dancing in the light of tomorrow

Our tomorrow

Your kisses taste like summertime

Flowers bloom when you talk

I’m seven years old all over again when I’m with you

young and free 

Maybe its the strands of hair you leave in my sink

or the silence we birthed

But loving you is loving God

 Its doves in flight and stray angel feathers

My muse

With exposed features and naked bones

you force me to raise my pen

and paper

To capture every otherworldly detail about us

Reminding the world that forever exists

in the moments between love.