Newton’s Law

If theres one thing I’ve learned this semester its that physics rules everything around me.

Newtons first law
An object tends to remain motionless until an external force acts on it

You never forget your first time
And he would never forget it either
They laid there like two doves waiting to be released by a magician
His hands on her face
Her hands on his chest
it was simple just like Beyonce sang
Algebra involved the addition of a new variable which is why in this equationship she’d eventually end up an ex
But that’s farther down the time line
You see in that moment one minute could be infinite
But moments are always in motion and time always moves forward
Just like the way his hand grazed her cheek
A love tap to test her devotion to him
He wanted to see how easily he could bring her to her knees

Newtons 2nd Law
The vector sum of force is equivalent to the mass times acceleration

In physics we are taught that velocity over a distance is accelerstion so when the mass of his balled fist flew across her face he saw how easily force could be applied
As she came to, he came to know the sins of his father
Flashes of his mother crying in the bathroom instead of reading bedtime stories
her nose dripped blood as he poured out apologies,I love you’s and it’ll never happen again
But we all knew that was a lie
Like sex, violence is addicting and once you start you crave more
Fast forward three months, two broken bones and one hospital visit to discover that prime numbers are the most dangerous thing next to his hands
Each time he multiplied the blows to equal his frustration
She was his kevlar vest
Absorbing all the lemons and bullets that life threw at him
His bad days would show up on her skin

Newton’s 3rd law
When a force exerts itself on one body a second force of equal magnitude is simultaneously applied in the opposite direction

So instead of pushing him away, she brought him in
Nights sleeping back to back
Her wearing excessive makeup to hide black eyes
The lies she created to cover for her abusive lover
She was afraid
Afraid that the magnetic force that attracted his hands to her would be too great for her body to handle
Silence became her best friend
Keeping quiet, fearful that the wrong words would set him off
She sought an escape but gravity is a tough son of a bitch to break free from
And it somehow always had a way of coming back to you
But those who are beaten tend to bounce
She left without a trace
The force of his love diminished in an instant
And he was left to combat the friction of his sins alone
Because if an object is absent, there is no force to be applied

Newton had it all figured out
Two people divided by three laws
Leaving them each with one third of who they used to be
That’s the physics of an abusive relationship

~J. Varina



Feeling pretty good, have been in a writing mood(added a Stories category too). Wanted to share this bit of something with anybody who finds this piece. I’d call this chapter…The Snake and the Pacifier. Enjoy, love feedback.

Olivia was back in her garden, surrounded by vanilla daisies and chirping birds. It was spring but the day felt more like summer. She sat on the recliner chair, observing the different cars passing by down below. She laughed at the Americans and their customs, how some families owned multiple cars but only had two drivers in the house. Above her she could barely see the sky, the towering buildings made her eighth floor balcony look like the dungeon in a medieval castle. The sun was high in the sky but only the rays reflecting off of windows reached her petals. A pail of water sat next to  awakened crops and Olivia noticed that a new leaf started to sprout. She knew she had finished planting all of her seeds but this one seemed like it was rushed. The soil hadn’t been properly covered and there were signs of unnecessary tampering. “How did you end up here?” she whispered to the leaf. The breeze from the alleyway came up the fire escape and the leaf swayed as if it was responding to her. “First you need a name, I’ll call you Sophia.” This time the wind blew from above causing the leaf to twist back and forth. “No? How about…Carla. I wonder what you’ll grow to be Carla, I don’t remember planting you.” The afternoon haze began to elevate, suddenly blocking the once vibrant light. The air also carried a slight chill, one that Olivia noticed immediately. As she reached for the water pail, a plant at the end of her garden began to rustle. Followed by the one next to it, then another, as if they were shrubs joining in a ritual dance. Olivia sat up and watched as the plants continued to move, but she failed to see that the sun had faded and only the lights from occupied apartments remained. The wind was now howling yet the plants had stopped moving, except for the unknown seed. Olivia reached for her water pail and underneath the glare of her glasses caught sight of a glimmer buried in the earth. As she began to lean in the wind immediately disappeared and the earth began to move. Except it wasn’t earth, and the glimmer was actually the light bouncing off of black eyes. A forked tongue appeared next to the baby leaf and Olivia knew exactly what had found it’s way into her garden. The serpent laid coiled up around the flower, his scales emitting a deep twilight blue, as if he came straight from the heavens. Her heart knew fear but her hands knew to be still, realizing that snakes only reacted to quick movements. Suddenly the coils began to unravel and the snake rose to lock eyes with Olivia, her hand still outstretched. The creature then began to wrap itself around her arm, eventually traveling to her shoulder. It rested it’s head on her collarbone, she could feel the gaps between his scales across her skin. Olivia took a deep breath and began to pray, closing her eyes in hopes that the snake would disappear once she opened them again. He didn’t. Instead he moved closer to her neck, coming just under her earlobe. The forked tongue finding its way to the hairs on the back of her neck, and then he did something that neither Olivia nor God could’ve predicted. He whispered to her in a childlike voice, “This seed may not be mine, but you will never hold it.” There was a baleful tone resonating within his voice and Olivia watched as the last remaining lights turned off. It was impossibly dark, so dark that she couldn’t feel the snake on her arm anymore. Then she realized that he wasn’t, for there are some darknesses that even the devil can’t handle. Olivia collapsed in her garden, crushing her plants in the process. Her chest tightened and an overdue scream escaped her lungs. She shrieked into the night, mixing together curses and cries, unsure if she was directing them towards the snake, God…or herself. Her tears began to fall on the baby leaf and within seconds the seedling was a full fledged flower. The petals began to glow, purple hues danced across Olivia’s cheeks. It was as if the flower was beckoning her, asking to feel the warmth of her hand. Olivia retracted her hand, fearing that the serpent would return and make good on his warning but his presence could no longer be felt. She reached forward, and the tip of her finger kissed the edge of the flower. It burst open, revealing intricate crimson and navy designs on the petals. In the middle, a plastic toy appeared. It had a rubber top that resembled a bottle and it opened up further to reveal two wings. For a second Olivia thought it was a butterfly that had been forcefully awakened but she knew she had seen this before. It had been many years since then but any parent would recognize it as well. She adjusted her glasses and watched as a pacifier came into focus. The light from the pacifier continued to radiate until it hurt to stare. Her whole vision became white and intense, even as she attempted to shut her eyes.  She awoke in her bed, the clock read 3 A.M. A dream. Olivia draped herself in a robe and walked to her daughters room. Her bedroom smelled like mothballs and  overly sweet perfume; but the walls were decorated with beautiful designs, navy and crimson swirling together creating a faint purple that found it’s way under Olivia’s eyes once more.


Feeling good today after not going insane while working 9-9. In light of that and the progress I’ve made, I’ll share an excerpt of something I’m working on. What it’s going to be I don’t know yet, but it’s something to me which means it’s something to share. Cheers, feedback too! I’m in uncharted waters here. 

The garage door opened and the sun was nowhere to be found, but it didn’t matter to him. The weather seemed to match his mood for the day, hell maybe for the rest of his life. He began to stretch when he heard a door open behind him. “Anna I said I don’t want any breakfast, just go back to bed.” He looked back to see a younger figure, a girl no less than 20 standing with her hands in her pocket. “Oh sorry, Sophia, I thought you, well, morning.” “Hello Mr. Hill, I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll head inside now.” “No you’re fine. I uh, I wanted to say thanks. You’ve been really helpful since we…” He paused. The girls face came into focus, she looked half-asleep and annoyed. “It’s my job Mr. Hill, I’m here because I have to be.” He could sense irritation in his aid, so he decided to end his conversation and continue stretching. She entered the house closing the garage door in the process and David adjusted his shoe strings. It was 6:34 according to his watch which meant he was already four minutes behind today’s schedule. Tuesday’s were meant for momentum, not mourning. He peered into the puddle left behind by yesterday’s rain, the darkness he found in his mirror returned. This time however, it wasn’t his face that appeared in the fog. It was Charlie’s. “Momentum, not mourning”seemed easier to believe when it wasn’t living in your reflection.


It’s been quiet on here, I haven’t forgotten. Let me share my life in a few words:

I am lost. (Am I…?)

I am found. (I am..?)

I am becoming an artist, or a failure of one.

I am not sure if I’m delusional or full of wisdom. I fear the shadow of the future, while the white hot light from the past continues to scorch my back.

I’m chasing impossible dreams and sacrificing the comfort of predictability.

I am constantly cycling between a golden moment and monochrome minutes, being forced to recolor my life.

I am becoming a failure, or an artist.

I am now, me.

And me is who I am now.

Heavenly Song.

A woman is an unwritten poem

words and emotions

Sprawled on the beautiful emptiness.

She is the second drop of rain, the seedling that peeks from soil

A fading dream wrapped inside a cover of skin and ink

or a

muse with no artist.

Her breast bear the secrets of sunrise

and lips speak the moon’s language.

She seeks tomorrow, crouching behind the shadow of her pen.


I Wish.

I wish I could forget how to be in love, because being in love is too memorable. It’s a pink post-it note on the fridge that catches my eye every time I walk by. Constantly invading my space one would think that it’s origins were in an Atari.

Being in love is like bungee jumping from the Brooklyn Bridge, dangling above the unknown waters wondering if you will fall in or will someone will pull you up again

It’s like that one person who has all your attention suddenly skyrockets into space and becomes your sun. The center of your solar system and all you can do is wait to revolve around their touch. Their chemical kisses turn you into the most volatile element on the periodic table, one shared moment of electron size will create an unbreakable bond between you two.

Continue reading I Wish.